It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world

except for...

Run stupid, run


Today's lesson was about guts
Trust them more
Trust them better

Be honest
You could see it coming, right ?
From miles away
But in the end, it didn't matter

I'm not sure I am ready for this world
Next week is gonna be tough

Blackest day of the year
Darkest week

But hey, at least my days will match my nights
That should be fun
If I can embrace my pretender's talent
Don't forget to smile

Back to black



I should feel so grateful for finally escaping the bottom of the well
But I am still tightly bound with red tape that I can't breathe
Instead of enjoying my new urban life, I am running in circles like a headless chicken
Which is not so bad, considering the task ahead of me
I can't avoid the next move, confronting a demon too familiar for my own good
But I can't ignore him anymore, even though I grew accustomed to a life without him
But hey
This could be fun
He could be the anxious one
For a change
Cause I don't need him anymore




That is me right now
turning, braiding, weaving
but most importantly
letting go

Now I am prescripted sea salt
like tears and ocean water

Like another birth
Breathing is painful
and new

I could never thought I would
desire to sleep
But fall is near
And here it is the beginning of winter
So I'm off to my bed

Will I dream?


So long...
finally... summer





Bloody month for me, for the third time
July is almost over,
I just hate it
But in a few hours it will be gone
Monsters' birthdays behind me
The storms are coming to clean up the sky
I have to think of something
In order to escape that cozy cell of mine


Mick who?

Strange days here we come,
I fell in the middle of the woods,
after crossing meadows filled with butterflies and tall grass,
I hurt my back again, fold my limbs and lost my balance

But the funny thing was what the doctor said
Apparently the only cure for me
is spider venom

Bottoms up!

What a difference a month made...shit!
Mick who?

So here I am
recovering from 3 weeks of pure chaos
From the new Neighbours from Hell
God knows I had bad neighbours before
But these ones take the cake
Stupid low life white trash mofos

At first I was pissed, then I pitied them, then I was disgusted
Now I am filled with rage
I refuse to surrender to the Dark side of the force
Bloody Hell

I try to leave it into the hands of the cops, social services, landlord and co
But in the mean time, I am the one suffering from their damn antics

Tonight is the full moon...

Well I guess it is back to Operas and Bach at full volume for revenge
as long as I can stay away from Wagner
and breathe slowly


Dream a little dream of me
Thank God for this Journal, which will now keep my memories safe
I want to keep track of today, especially last night's dream

Have you ever had a sweet dream that you wish you could stay in it?
Lately I have mostly experienced my fair and usual share of bad dreams,
night terrors and succubus visits.

But last night was so luscious, I don't know what is in the air...
A few times in my life I have encoutered  this kind of night journey,
when you wake up the following morning with a smile on your face,
sometimes a blush too but mostly, a physical awareness, deep in the flesh.
What is so surreal is that I remember the light, smells, colours, shadows
and most importantly gazes and touches
I was healed, I was whispered to and I laughed...we laughed so freely,
so hard that I suspect it is the reason I woke up

My sweet dream was shattered by a shared joke,
by crystalline laughs so true that they pierced my slumber cocoon
All I have left are flashes,

a coast viewed from a small plane
a sports car u-turning in narrow parisian streets
a dinner table on the last floor
a sad landlord declaring his love in vain
a smug waiter with smoldering eyes
unrequited mushrooms in cream
a set of silver forks needed to be changed
"for dessert I have delicious soy yogurts"
a shoulder massage
a very funny joke about steam and a hot room

Eve Arnold - Marilyn Monroe 1955

Funny how falling feels like flying...

...for a little while


Although spring is finally here, I long for the sun
I wish those black clouds would go away
My nights are filled with weird dreams,
dark omens and strange visits
My uncle Charles is dying
as we speak
I won't miss his cigarettes smell
or his boozy breath
but I will surely miss
the smile he used to bring up on my auntie's face

So long Zio

Lift up your blinds...
....soon I will be able to add curtains and finally see daylight
What a waste, february was cold, sleepless and bitchy
Mars is my hero

Let the real fun begin

Yay 2010!


Wow, It's been a while.
I forgot, I struggled most of december with my new flat, internet connexion and more.
I had snow, no present for Xmas, as usual
and my hair is now pink
I dyed it "ultra violet" as it said on the box
but I don't care.
It is the same colour as my favourite scarf

Today I have exchanged messages with an old friend.
I am sure he has no idea how touched I am by his voice.
I thought a lot about him lately
the last reminder of a lost previous life

Hope is a strange feeling
How fragile and futile
And yet so fresh and gracious


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